THE SUBMISSION RULES.

The joke is the behaviour. If the story only works when somebody can identify the person, it does not belong here.

What you can submit

• A ridiculous DM, an absurd date or a strange dating-app encounter.
• A comeback, a confession, a city observation or an Audacity Award nomination.
• Your own embarrassing behaviour. Shame On Me is a department, not a courtroom.

Keep every person unidentifiable

Remove real names, handles, phone numbers, emails, exact dates, addresses, workplaces and distinctive combinations of details. Use a broad city only. Change nonessential details or paraphrase to avoid recognition. Even a story without a name can identify someone.

Adults, definitely

You and everyone described must have been 18 or older when the events happened. If anyone’s age is uncertain, do not send it. Do not submit content involving minors, including historical sexual or dating accounts about somebody who was a minor then.

Text only

No images, videos, voice recordings or screenshots. Do not send explicit descriptions, identifiable private sexual information, health information or someone’s sexual orientation. You may describe receiving an unsolicited image without describing or reproducing it.

Absolutely not

• Revenge, exposing someone or trying to “find” a person.
• Threats, coercion, blackmail, stalking or encouragement of harm.
• Hate, discriminatory abuse or humiliating someone for a protected characteristic.
• Illegal material, allegations aimed at identifiable people, or material you do not have the right to share.

What happens next

Your contribution enters a private review queue. Basic pattern checks may remove contact details and flag concerns, but a person must review it before publication. An editor may rewrite, withhold or reject it. There is no publication deadline or guarantee.

Your optional Annual permission is separate. Save the private removal code shown after submission. Read the privacy notice and terms before sending.