THE INDEPENDENT ARCHIVE OF QUESTIONABLE DECISIONSADULT HUMOUR · 18+

THE INBOX TRENCHES

THE DIARIES.

Somebody typed that. Read it back. And still pressed send.

6 diaries · Fictional launch stories are labelled individually.

DMs Opened
Can we circle back to us in Q3?
Cardiff · Editorial fiction

He sent a calendar invite. For a situationship.

Six weeks of talking. Zero dates. One surprisingly well-formatted meeting request.

Reply Hall of Fame
You’ll never find someone like me.
Bristol · Editorial fiction

“You’ll never find someone like me.” Correct.

That was, in fact, the entire point of leaving.

Audacity Awards
I’m just not great at communicating.
Manchester · Editorial fiction

A seven-minute voice note. To say he’s “not a talker”.

Sir, that was a podcast. There were chapters.

Shame On Me
Why am I in a caravan in 2014?
Cardiff · Editorial fiction

I accidentally liked his mum’s holiday album. From 2014.

Shame On Me: a story of curiosity, poor thumb control and a very long scroll.

Field Notes
Hey stranger. Been a minute.
London · Editorial fiction

He unearthed the chat after eight months. “Hey stranger.”

A minute? Civilisations have risen and fallen.

Audacity Awards
You can’t put a price on this personality.
Liverpool · Editorial fiction

He asked to split the bill. Then invoiced me for “banter”.

Watch us. We have a spreadsheet.