I accidentally liked his mum’s holiday album. From 2014.

This one is on me. Fully. No committee required.

I went to check his profile. Then a tagged photo. Then another tagged photo. Next thing I knew, I was emotionally invested in his mum’s caravan holiday from 2014.

My thumb hit like. On a picture of a barbecue. He was not even in it.

I briefly considered changing my name. Instead I put my phone down, made a cup of tea and accepted that I was the plot twist.